I Was Only KIDDING!
by PhantomAL
Summary: Danny breaks up with Paulina, harshly. And begins to realize his fellings towards Sam... the HARD way. Funny and sortof Romantic. I'm a GUY give me a break!
1. Chapter 1: I was only Kidding!

I'M BACK! Now, before we start, I just wanna tell you one thing. Even though this story takes place a year after my original story, this isn't a sequel to my fake movie script. This is just something that popped in my mind while I was listening to the "Weird AL" Yankovic song "I Was Only Kidding". The story's pretty simple, but the song's really funny. Enjoy!

-PhantomAL

Disclaimer: I don't own "Weird AL" Yankovic, Jay Levey does. I also don't own any of the movies. Well, I own some of them on DVD. But not… I mean… well you know what I'm talkin' about.

(Danny's POV)

A year has passed since I got my powers. A lot has happened during the past year, but that isn't why we're here. I'm about to tell you the story about how I broke up with the most popular girl in school, and still had a smile on my face after.

During my second year, Paullina and I were going out, much to Sam's disapproval. But still, Sam and I remained friends. But something was bugging me. Maybe it was the fact that Paullina was maybe just going out with me to make other boys jealous, or that she kept dissing my friends. And as the days went by, I started to realize that Paullina was not my girlfriend. She was a big JERK! So I decided to break up with her. But how? I mean, we ARE talking about the most popular girl in school here. I needed to break up with her so hard, that she'll realize what a jerk she was soon afterwards. I needed to break up with her cruel and hard. I got an idea, which just had to do with the 2nd annual Battle of the Bands contest coming up in a week, and my band was in it. But I needed Sam and Tucker's help.

I talked over the plan with Sam and Tuck. Sam was behind me 178. Tuck was behind me 100 Why the difference in percentages? Well, Sam hated Paullina with every fiber of her being, and she was waiting for this day for 2 years. Tuck actually liked Paullina. But with me breaking up with her, it would mean that HE'D have a shot at her.

"Alright," I said, "here's what we need to do. Tucker."

"Yep?" he asked.

"Can you make a screen that people can see through, but someone behind it can't see through?"

"You mean a one-way screen? Yeah, why?"

"We're gonna need it" I said slyly. "Alright," I continued, "we got one week. We need to practice."

"What song are we gonna play for you to break up with Paullina?" Sam said happily.

"I got that taken care of." I said.

A week later, the one-way screen was in place on the stage in the gym. I brought Paullina into the gym, saying that it was empty. However, everyone was already informed via Tucker that I was gonna break up with her at the contest, and they were told not to say a word to Paullina about it. So everyone was already there when we came in. But no one said a word; they were waiting for the bomb to explode. I started to talk to her.

"Well, I wanted to talk to you" I started.

"Did you want to say that you wanted to take our relationship to a whole new level?" she said wearing an obviously fake smile.

"Well," I started, "how do I put this?"

Then the music started, low and angelic.

I Was Only Kidding

------------------

by "Weird Al" Yankovic

_When I said I'd be faithful_

_When I promised I'd be true_

_When I swore that I could never_

_Be with anyone but you_

_When I told you that I loved you_

_With those tender words I spoke_

_I was only kidding_

_Now, can't you take a joke?_

**The music then went to heavy metal rock.**

_When I said that I need you, baby_

_When I told you I really care_

_When I said that I can't live without you_

_When I said I'd follow you anywhere_

_When I said you could always trust me_

_When I said I'd never leave you flat_

_Well, guess what? I was only kidding, baby_

_I can't believe you fell for that!_

_You're so gullible..._

_CHORUS_

_(I was only kidding) I was only kidding_

_(I was only kidding) I was only kidding_

_I was only kidding_

_Now I'm sorry if you misunderstood, but the fact remains_

_(I was only kidding) I was only kidding_

_(I was only kidding) I was only kidding_

_Well I guess I got you pretty good, now listen_

_When I said that I love you baby_

_From the very bottom of my heart_

_When I said that I miss you so badly_

_Every second that we're apart_

_When I said that you're just getting more and more_

_Beautiful every day_

_Well, I was only kidding, honey_

_What's that matter with you anyway?_

_Let me tell you something_

_(CHORUS)_

_Well I guess it probably hurts you a lot,_

_But you gotta know_

_I really love you...NOT!_

_When I said you oughtta marry me_

_When I said that we should settle down_

_Well, I was pullin' your leg there, honey_

_I was just foolin' around_

_You see, I-I never meant to upset you, darlin'_

_I never meant to hurt anyone_

_I was only kidding, baby_

_Why don't you just put down that gun?_

_Let's talk this over_

The one-way screen rose up, revealing a screaming crowd. Paullina looked mighty surprised.

_(CHORUS)_

I ripped a picture of me and her in half. Just to make it so she got the point.

_Watch where you're pointing that thing!_

_Hey, I'm sorry if your heart is broke_

_You gotta realize_

_(CHORUS)_

Well, to cut a long fit short, she stormed off, pissed and embarrassed.

"She'll get over it" I said.

We won the contest two years in a row, both for talent and creativity. The school newscaster took our picture for the front page of the school newspaper. Life was good.

On the way home from school, Tuck got to his house first. Which meant it was just Sam and I walking home together. After a few minutes of silence, Sam finally spoke up.

"So," she said, "you've won the Battle of the Bands contest 2 years in a row, and broken up with the most popular girl and school, and managed to have a good attitude about it. What's next?"

"Well," I started, "how about a movie marathon at my place? Say… tonight at 7?"

"Sure" she said. "I'll see you then."

"Great" I said.

Sam came over at 7, just like we planned. I invited her in, and we went into the living room. In the living room, there were pillows, blankets, popcorn, and soda. Everything we needed for a FRIENDly date. We started watching the movies. Tonight's theme was COMEDY. I had all the greats, in MY opinion: Dodgeball, Anchorman, Mars Attacks, UHF, (Authors note: all of these movies are some of my favorites.) and a secret movie I saved just for the occasion. By the middle of UHF, the get together turned into a sleepover. It was 12 midnight by the time we got to the "Spatula City" scene. It was a good thing that the couch turned into a bed.

"So," Sam said blushing, "we're sleeping together?"

"No!" I said, blushing as well. "I mean, we are sleeping in the same bed," I continued, "but that doesn't mean that we're _sleeping_ sleeping together. Besides, it's either this or the cold, hard floor."

"Good point." she said.

After UHF, I pressed the "disc skip" button to go to the final disc.

"So," Sam began, "what's the final movie on the agenda?"

"I told you," I said, "It's a surprise."

The movie started playing. It was Sam and mine's favorite movie: "Tim Burton's The Nightmare before Christmas." She looked very surprised.

"I didn't think you remembered this was my favorite" she said, blushing.

"Would I forget a movie so close to us?" I said, blushing as well.

After the movie, I shut everything off and we went to bed.

"Goodnight Sam." I said softly.

"Goodnight Danny." she said.

And then we drifted off to bed.

ALLLLLLRIGHTY THEN! How was that? Well, you know the process. Read and review. I need ideas for the next chapter. So give me help. NOW! Or feel the wrath of SLUNCHY the stinking homeless boy what lives in my head!!!!

-PhantomAL


	2. Chapter 2: Combining THIS with THIS

ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLRIGHTY THEN! PhantomAL is in the hiz-ouse! Now, this is when I start getting a little bit serious with my plot. What happens? Well, let's just say things start going from good to very very bad for our pal Danny. How? Read on! I'm not gonna tell ya you lazy person you.

(Disclaimer: I don't own Seinfeld. Larry David does. Lucky duck. I also don't own Invader Zim or Battleship.)

-PhantomAL

Chapter 2

Combining THIS and THIS

Danny's POV:

A week later, things went back to normal. Well, as normal things usually were around my town. There were a few ghosts to fight, but not too much to deprive me from doing usual things. But things started going wrong on… THURSDAY.

On Thursday, Dash invited Sam, Tucker, and I to his annual jock party. Why? My guess is that since that I beat him 2 years in a row in the Battle of the Bands, he wanted to make it up to me for tying me up, locking me in a closet, and holding me for ransom last year. But little did I know that an evil, somewhat disturbing plan was being formed in that empty head of his.

Come Saturday, we were at the party, dressing as we usually do. And let me tell you, Sam never looked better in her usual clothes. _Did I just think that?!_ I thought to myself. _She's just a friend, nothing more. I think… _I tried to hold back a blush. _But if she's just my friend,_ I continued to think, _then how come I feel so weird around her? Ever since the whole Ember incident in my freshman year… maybe…_ Little did I know that Sam was having the same thoughts about me.

Well, it was about 10:00 when we realized that this party was going NOWHERE. So we headed towards the door. But just then, Dash blocked the door with his immense body. (Boy! Do I like descriptive words!)

"Where do think _you're _going?" he asked slyly.

"We go home" I said in my best Invader Zim impression.

"Oh no you don't" he continued. "We were just about to play the best game of the party…"

"Battleship?" I asked, hoping that it wasn't going to be…

"7 minutes in heaven" he concluded.

_D'OH!_ I thought.

Now for those of you who don't know how to play the game, let me explain how it works. A boy picks a girl to go in a closet with them, and for 7 minutes, they can do whatever they want. You know what I mean. And I've feared this day ever since… well… FOREVER! And pretty soon, it was my turn!

"OK Fenton,"Dash said, "it's your turn."

So, I did what any 15 year old with freaky ghost powers would do. I reluctantly spinned the cursed bottle. And it landed on, (God hates me) Sam. _Holy mother of corn! _I thought. _I'm in trouble. _Sam felt the same way. (Danny's note: A moment here if you will. I bet you're asking yourself: "How did Danny know what Sam was thinking?" Well, chalk it up to either our psychic connection or poetic license. Anyway, this is my story. You're just reading it. Save your questions for your reviews.) Sam gave me the infamous "Do-something!" look. I flashed back with the even more infamous "I'm-thinkin'!" look. _Think Danny think. What's the one thing that no one in this room except Sam and I will understand? Seinfeld! Of course! _I put on a very sly face. If my right eyebrow could've gone up higher, it would've.

"Well Fenton," Dash said, "we're waiting."

"Well," I started, "let's think about this for a minute."

Everyone in the room gave me a strange look.

"If Sam and I were to go in that closet and "you know", we would still want to keep our friendship in line."

"What are you doing?" Sam whispered.

"Just play along" I said back. "Remember Seinfeld"

Sam suddenly remembered the episode and joined in. "Oh, right" she said. "He has a point. We still want to remain friends after "that"."

"Right," I continued, "you see, the idea is to combine "this", I said waving my hands between us two, "with "that", I said pointing to the closet. "But still keeping "this" (hand motions) in tact."

1 hour later…

"…we might be inclined to call after "that", Sam continued.

By this time, everyone in the room had fallen asleep. Even Tuck, who being a Seinfeld fan himself, had drifted off to la-la-land.

"I think their asleep" Sam said.

"Me too," I agreed, "let's get out of here."

We quietly snuck out of the room without waking anyone up. We then, very carefully, shut the door and we walked home, talking the whole way home.

"That was a good idea," Sam started, "using Seinfeld to our advantage."

"Well," I said, "no one in that room but us had the brain capacity to understand that show anyway."

"True that."

When we finally got to her house, her parents were already asleep.

"Well," I said, "I guess I'll see ya later then." I started to walk off, when Sam stopped me. She gave me a quick peck on the cheek.

"What was that for?" I said, somewhat taken aback by the kiss.

"For saving us at the party,"she said "and being just a great guy." I suddenly smiled my usual goofy grin.

"You're welcome" I said. And I walked off, smiling all the way home. But as we all know, smiles don't last forever.

Suddenly, a big green ghost appeared in front of me, toting a huge gun. I quickly turned into Danny Phantom and we started to fight. (They did a bunch of fighting moves that I'm too lazy to write.) Sam suddenly came up to the battle, holding the Fenton Thermos. The ghost pointed his giant gun straight at her, making her freeze with fear.

"Sam!" I yelled. "Look out!"

I quickly flew right in front of her, and took the ectoplasmic bullet for her. The ghost disappeared, realizing that he was out of ammo. I just lay there unconscious while Sam dialed 911 on her cell phone. The last thing I remember was Sam saying,

"Hold on Danny."

Cliffhangy ain't it? Well, I've already thought up the ending. It's a pretty heartwarming ending as far as endings go. Well, read and review please! AL out!

-PhantomAL


	3. Chapter3: A Reason to Stay

Oh, you thought there were no more chapters, but guess what, there's CHAPTERS! OK. For those of you with weak constitutions or who hate music by R.E.M., I suggest that you don't read this chapter. But for everyone else, read on. Now where wuz I? Ah yes!

(I don't own R.E.M. I just love their music.)

-PhantomAL

Chapter 3

A Reason to Stay

Danny's POV:

Well it's kinda fuzzy, but I think I can tell ya what happened. We arrived at the hospital and they immediately started to carry me in on the gurney. I noticed that Sam was crying. I never saw her like this before. The tough, unique, Goth girl I've always known had broken down. I tried to speak. "Sam," I said softly, "it's going to be all right." Well, that was what we were hoping.

After what seemed like 4 hours of operations, things were looking pretty grim. _So,_ I thought,_ this is how it ends. And I didn't even get a chance to tell her…_ Suddenly, Sam came in the room, with tear strained eyes. I was fading fast. If I needed anyone at this point, it had to be Sam. "I don't think I'm gonna make it" I managed to say. "You have to make it" Sam said. "Everything always turns out alright." I smiled and then I went to sleep. But Sam stayed there. And, now I couldn't tell if it was her or not, but she started to sing one of my favorites.

Losing My Religion by R.E.M.

Life is bigger  
It's bigger than you  
And you are not me  
The lengths that I will go to  
The distance in your eyes  
Oh no I've said too much  
I set it up

That's me in the corner  
That's me in the spotlight  
Losing my religion  
Trying to keep up with you  
And I don't know if I can do it  
Oh no I've said too much  
I haven't said enough  
I thought that I heard you laughing  
I thought that I heard you sing  
I think I thought I saw you try

Every whisper  
Of every waking hour I'm  
Choosing my confessions  
Trying to keep an eye on you  
Like a hurt lost and blinded fool  
Oh no I've said too much  
I set it up

My heart started to race faster than usual.

Consider this  
The hint of the century  
Consider this  
The slip that brought me  
To my knees failed  
What if all these fantasies  
Come flailing around  
Now I've said too much  
I thought that I heard you laughing  
I thought that I heard you sing  
I think I thought I saw you try

But that was just a dream  
That was just a dream

And then the worst happened. The long, eternal beep on the screen that Sam had been dreading for the whole time. She started to sob hard into my chest, and she did not want to accept reality. I was gone. And not even the lyrics of R.E.M. could wake me up. There was nothing she could do… or was there?

I saw a big bright light in front of me. _Is this Heaven?_ I thought. But I was wrong. I was in Purgatory. The place between Heaven and Earth. I saw a guy in front of what seemed to be a huge golden gate. He looked like a fat, balding guy in his mid thirties. "Name?" he asked me. "Umm… Danny Fenton" I said hesitantly. "Hmmm… Dangerfield… Reeves… Yankovic… Ah! Here we go! Fenton. We've been expecting you for sometime now. Ever since the portal incident…" "Need you remind me of that?" I asked. "Oh, sorry" he said. "Now," he continued, "before you go up, I'm supposed to give you 3 last requests. But since you're a teenager, and you only survived 15 years on earth, I'll give you an extra request." _Hmmm… 4 last requests._ "OK." I said. "I've made my decision." "Ok." the guy said. "Shoot." "First," I began, "What is Heaven like?" "Well," he started up, "eternal peace and love, no suffering, and the best darn buffet this side of the universe. Don't try the tuna though." "Ok, I wasn't expecting the last part. Second, If I DID survive longer on earth, what would await me?" "Well, hate, suffering, bullies, and even more ghosts to fight in your case." _Wow. My life sucks! But wait? What about Sam? I can't just leave her like this. I need to at least SEE her again._ "Third," I continued, "I want to see my friend Sam again." Just like that, a large hole appeared in a cloud, making it like a portal to earth. I saw Sam. Crying all over my cold, lifeless body. While she was crying, I heard her say something that changed my entire outlook on life.

"I love you."

A tear started to run down my left cheek, and a smile came to my face. My life didn't suck. Far from it actually. I had a best friend who loved me like I loved her. I needed to set things right. "For my final request," I said with my voice cracking, "I want to go back to Earth and live again." "What?!" I suddenly realized I said the wrong thing. "You can't just go back to Earth like that!" the guy said. "Give me one good reason why I should let you live again." I directed him over to the portal. "You see that girl down there?" I said. "She means the world to me. And I mean the world to her. If I stay here, then I'll never get to see her again." The guy seemed to agree. "I guess you're right." he said. "Oh… I'm not really allowed to do this. But… OK. I'll let you live." "YES!" "On one condition." I suddenly became serious again. "You see, the buffet is kind of a secret. So let's just keep it between us guys, OK?" "Absolutely." And just like that, I was gone.

I fell and fell and fell and fell, until I slammed back-first into my body. Sam was about to leave when she gave me a kiss on the lips. Right then and there, I returned the kiss, surprising her almost out of her skin. I opened my eyes. It was great to see her again. And in a hoarse whisper, I said in my best George Costanza impression, "I'm back baby."

10 years later, Sam and I got married and had two children, Danny Jr. and Sam Jr. And one day we told them that I was half ghost and we told them all the adventures I went through. Including this one.

"That was great Dad." said Danny Jr. "Now can you tell us the story of when you faced off against that ghost dog." Sam and I exchanged glances. _The fakeout-makeout_. "Oh very well" I said. "It all started one day at school. Dash, you all know Dash, had just failed his spelling test. And he decided to take his anger out on me. He was chasing me down the halls when…"

ThE eNd

How was that for a story? Well, If you liked it, read and review. Right now I'm working on deleted scenes for my first fan-fic. Hopefully, that'll be online by next week. See ya!

-PhantomAL


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